Saturday, December 22, 2007

Just take a leak, would-ya?

My son is looking at me with glazed-over eyes, somewhat bewildered at the days events.

He woke up this morning with a primal scream which is not uncommon, but we knew something was not quite right. Mom took his temperature (but not his dignity thanks to the newly acquired "ear" thermometer which replaced the "rectal" one) and it was high: 103.3 to be exact. We spent the hole day pumping him full of tylenol, but it didn't budge his temperature. I convinced Heather to leave for the apartment and see her childhood friends. I was certain Zachary was just another tylenol dose away from resuming his high-spirited ways. I rechecked his temperature and 104.8 was staring at me. That seemed high, and his grandmother and I subjected him to 5 or 6 more checks. The readings were all over the place, 102.4, 103.4, 105.1... but no normal readings. I called Heather and urged her home. She arrived white-faced and sick-appearing, which was a precursor of her own illness to come.

We drove like mad to the nearest reasonably sized hospital, 30 miles away. We're staying with Heather's parents in Orange, TX, and felt like the 4-bed hospital available locally was probably inadequate. We drove to the next largest city a half an hour away.

I managed to plug my laptop in and borrow the hospital's wireless signal. We watched half a Dallas Cowboys game while we waited, and waited, and waited.

We're now 6 hours into our stay. Our only hope of going home is my son urinating in a little plastic bag that is taped to his boy parts. I'm an adult and couldn't urinate with a plastic bag taped to me...why do you think a little man is any different.

It's hard not interfering with my son's care. He now has no fever. I'm comtemplating signing out AMA (which means, against medical advice). This would probably put us on the "bad parents" list.

We've now managed to have a separate illness each of the last four weeks spread successfully to each family member. Isn't childhood great?

I've just finished listening to the ER attending give a 10 minute discussion on the diabetic foot to a guy who is here with a rotten foot. The patient needs an amputation, but it sounds like he thinks his foot is going to heal. I won't interfere, but I've got news for the patient: it's not looking good.

I wish my son would just take a leak....

3 comments:

Adrian said...

With power, comes great responsibility.

Funky Cold Medinas said...

Mom says she remembers when she wishes you would just eliminate...

Lori, Landon and Logan said...

Sorry you had to go through that! Just a small tip incase you ever need a child to pee in the small bag again. Place his hands in warm water. My infant had to pee in the small bag and I tried it. He peed right away and the only reason I knew to do it was because it was a prank my brother played as a child on friends while they were sleeping.